Living Dangerously

I tend to go out every evening and have my fun chasing little animals (and sometimes bringing them home as trophies- they are part of a catch and release program instituted by my female human) and generally patrolling the neighborhood. I come in plenty of times for refreshment and then continue my detail. By about 11 pm or 12 am I am usually done and like to call it a night and get into bed for lots of cuddles and nap. Sometimes I get woken up by a strange noise and I make sure to go check it out and if it is nothing interesting- like a fly beating against a window- then I go back to my cuddle and snooze.

This other night (now that I think of it, it was the 4th of July!) my humans came back home about 11 pm and I had been cooped up all evening. I didn't mind so much to begin with as it was a bit noisy but later after it got quiet I did feel like it was not fair that I was having to stay in for no good reason. So when they returned home, I went out. Now for the first time that I can think of, my female human went straight up to bed and my male human lounged on the couch watching TV. He was supposed to leave the door open so I could come back home when I was done but that guy has a brain like a sieve or wants to get rid of me or something. He closed the screen door so of course I couldn't get back in. Then he snoozed off in front of the TV. To hear him explain it later, he claims that he was listening for me and would have woken up if he but heard me. Well, let me tell you this dude does not sleep light despite his claims. In fact, he can sleep through anything except being thumped on at night. I know because he only wakes up to hiss at me if I jump on him. So I do that now and again in the hope that he will learn some good light-sleeping skills. Why do I bother?

The night in question, I got stranded out and let me tell you, it turned out to be quite an adventurous night. At first it was all quiet. The I saw a big coyote (that's like a big wild dog without owners) go sniffing for bunnies. I stayed on my stoop as quiet and still as possible. I think it saw me (my eyes are very reflective) and came a bit closer to sniff me but I snarled and raised myself big and he decided that I couldn't be too tasty anyway. I saw him make short work of one bunny soon after. I felt pretty good about taking care of myself so I decided to walk around a bit. As I was rounding a bend I got attacked out of nowhere. It was another cat! And it was certainly mad at me though I have no clue why. I defended as best as I could, but was feeling a sharp pain on my side already so I hit hard and then ran back to my stoop. It followed me to attack but I was now prepared and it was not going to take me by surprise. It tried again and this time I stood my ground- I hissed and snarled back and made a few swipes with my talons. Eventually, the other cat realized it was a stalemate and just went away. Of course, my ever vigilant male human was still snoozing a few feet away on the couch.

I had to retch and bring up the little food I had eaten before I had come out for the night. I meowed a few times to wake up someone who would open the door but no luck. I knew I had to hunker down safely for the night and not get taken by surprise. I stanched my wound and cleaned it up. I tell you that night passed slowly. In the morning, the door stood open so I ran up to drink my water. That got the attention of the humans who had been talking about me and were worried. The dude ran up and sat down to talk to me. I was tired and just wanted to sleep.

I am a little bit more cautious since then as my adventure gave me a new-found respect for the perils of the night. I try to make sure no one closes the door on me by mistake and I try to keep my humans vigilant by going up to them and checking if they are awake (if not, I wake them up as a public service). Those two have no clue how caring and considerate I am. Meantime, I am recovering from my wound but you won't hear me complain- no sir.